Unrealistic Expectations Are Premeditated Resentments

First, you must distinguish between realistic and unrealistic expectations

Your expectations determine your reality in life.
The tricky thing about your expectations is that they impact other people too
Expectations among people are often based on an implicit social agreement. That is, without actually verbalizing expectations about mutual concessions

Where do we get the sense of power or what entitles us to think that merely expecting others to do or behave the way we want will make them do it and if they don't, we feel unheard, disrespected or angry?
Human beings have a natural tendency to pin their hopes for happiness on fulfilled expectations from others more than themselves - if it doesn't change some will be "keeping score" of their resentment

In relationships, people construct stories in their own heads about legitimate expectations of each other

We expect our friends to follow this or that logical and conventional pattern we have fixed for them. We have it all arranged in our minds.
The less often we see a particular person, the more satisfying it is to check how obediently they conform to our notion every time we hear of them. 
Any deviation in the fates we have ordained would strike us as not only anomalous but unethical

It’s not prudent to adopt what is realistic for another person as what is realistic for you
Each of us, as adults, have our underlying desires, plans, interests and issues
It is not so much that others betray you. It is more that you are projecting your highest values onto them and expecting them to live in accordance with your values more than their own
We want to do what we think is in our own best interest, you can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you, to your interests, beliefs and character

The reality is, when we set goals for or upon others that are aligned with their true highest priorities (or highest and most intrinsic values), they are less likely to let us down


Quote for us:

“Set the standard! Stop expecting others to show you love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when you don't even show that to yourself.”  
― Steve Maraboli